Americans "Ready" to Debate What A Real Sport Is Again

Americans "Ready" to Debate What A Real Sport Is Again

TOKYO - Countries around the world are preparing for the quadrennial celebration of the Olympic Games, but Americans are gearing up for a past time even more memorable - debating what an actual sport is again.

Not surfaced since the 2016 Olympic Winter Games, the age-old quarrel over what makes a sport versus what is just a competitive hobby or recreational activity remains a staple among Americans even still to this day.

At the center of the upcoming pointless feud will be events including, but not limited to, team synchronized swimming, rhythmic gymnastics, dressage, and badminton.

Terry Bridgers, a long-time advocate of the Olympic games and staunch naysayer of many of the events set to kick off this weekend, has been preparing for Friday’s opening arguments for the last four years.

“It’s an exciting time to get in someone’s face and remind them what constitutes an actual sport versus what doesn’t,” Bridgers said. “Those on the radical Olympic left think just about anything and everything should be included these days.”

Bridgers has long held the belief that “anything without a ball” shouldn’t be defined as a sport and therefore shouldn’t qualify for Olympic competition.

“It’s just asinine to continue to think that events like swimming, gymnastics, ribbon dancing, or that horse jumping thing can be defined as a sport,” the Birmingham native said. “That’s why we are here in the first place, right? Sports?”

On the flip side stands Tiffany Starnes, an open advocate for every Olympic event and Brigers’ biggest rival.

“Terry has every right to his own opinion, but his opinion is wrong,” said Starnes, a Milwaukee resident. “Every event there is a sport and he has no refutable evidence to prove otherwise.”

Starnes went on to talk about her efforts to expand the Games even more, including events never before seen on the Olympic stage.

“There are so many things that are sports that should be included [in the Olympics] - video games, cooking, rock skipping - you name it,” she said. “You can’t tell me you wouldn’t like to watch an Olympic season of Top Chef.”

Bridgers laughs at Starnes’ progressive Olympic mindset.

“Cooking? That’s almost as laughable as when she tried to tell me that curling was a sport back in 2016,” he said. “It’s brushing rocks off the ice...you gonna give me a medal every time I sweep off my front porch?”

End of the Bench managed to catch up with USA Gymnastics star Simone Biles to get her take on the matter, both as a gymnast and career Olympian.

“It’s very clear the public school system continues to fail so many in our country, unfortunately,” Biles said. “Which is why we’re finishing second to China in like everything but the Olympics.”

No matter what side of the coin you’re on, viewers can decide for themselves starting this Friday with the official opening ceremony for the 2021 Olympic Games, only on NBC.
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