Green Bay Man Not Fired Despite No Show on First Day of Work

Green Bay Man Not Fired Despite No Show on First Day of Work

GREEN BAY - A local man has reportedly been retained despite not showing up for his first day of work, sources tell End of the Bench.

The man in question, Aaron Rodgers, who currently works as a quarterback for the Green Bay Packers, one of 32 teams in the “National Football League,” openly defied a previously agreed upon start date, and has sent ownership into what is being described as an “an absolute nightmare scenario.”

Per the organization’s own rules, all employees (players) were to report for their first day of work for the 2021 season on June 8th.

When the gates opened, Rodgers was nowhere to be seen, much to the surprise of nobody

The California native has been under scrutiny and much attention from around the league, following reports of his displeasure with the team’s future which leaked during the 2021 NFL Draft.

Packers’ team ownership released 361,311 statements, which ranged from support of Rodgers’ decision to skip mandatory organized team activities to short statements like “Get your ass back on the fucking field you fucking coward.”

Matthew Stromwell, a stockholder, part-owner, and Rodgers’ de facto boss, told End of the Bench that he’s “unsure” of where the team goes from here.

“I mean yeah look at the freaking people our GM has put around him the last couple of years, I don’t blame him,” Stromwell, a dairy farmer who has owned one share of stock in the team since 2011, said. “But I also don’t believe in being late for work, he should have been on time. If the cows in this great state can make it to work on time, so can Aaron.”

It’s also been reported that current part-time stockroom associate and backup quarterback Jordan Love may get some more opportunities if Rodgers continues to be a no-show, despite some reservations from other owners, including Barbara Nelson.
  
“You mean the kid that sat in the back last year?” Nelson said. “He’s not ready to be thrown out on the floor quite yet.”
 
One thing is for certain, whether Rodgers decides to show or not, it looks like it’ll be a long offseason in the Cheese State.
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