Just days before Thursday night’s annual selection of amateur basketball talent, the famed NBA Trade machine, an online trade generator available to fans and wanna-be general managers everywhere is facing “major technical issues,” sources tell End of the Bench.
The machine, a staple amongst NBA internet heartthrobs for years, allows fans to propose mock trades and get instant feedback based on salary cap space, team structure, and roster size.
Every off-season, the machine endures its highest levels of traffic, especially the week before the NBA Draft - something that has finally pushed the lottery machine-style application over the edge.
“We’ve got a full-on fire on our hands here,” an ESPN software engineer who requested anonymity tells EOTB. “Somebody submitted a trade that had Damian Lillard, Kevin Durant, James Harden, and Kyrie Irving all going to the Los Angeles Lakers for 2nd round draft picks. Our code wasn’t written to handle that level of insanity.”
The source went on to say that while they are confident they’ll be able to find a “workable” solution before Thursday night’s Draft, fans should temper expectations.
“Look I understand it’s fun to just assemble super teams these days, and now we’re seeing it happen in real life, but you guys are insane,” the engineer said. “I want to find whoever tried to trade Anthony Davis for a 2079 first-rounder the other day and punch them right in the face. Will basketball even be a sport in 2079?"
At the time of publishing, the NBA machine was reportedly back online, slowly processing a large backlog of “problematic” acquisitions.
“If I showed you the bullshit people put into this thing, you’d understand why we’re facing these issues,” the engineer said. “I don’t know how people sleep at night living like this.”