By Ryan Sutton
Struggling to get some rest after the excitement of an overtime thriller?
Introducing…NFL BedZone with Peyton and Eli, the sleep app of every football fan’s dreams.
From the guys who took sitting on their couch and made it a national broadcast, comes an idea that is even drowsier. NFL BedZone combines Scott Hanson’s 7-hour, quad-box-filled onslaught of excitement with Peyton and Eli’s Monday Night lullaby.
Just download the app, plug in your headphones, and be soothed to sleep by the ambient noise of Eli Manning thinking of an interview question over audio of every touchdown from the week’s games.
“Now… …so… …uh… …you go, Peyt.”
“And Russell Wilson finds Lockett for the score!”
If you prefer a constant hum, there’s 45 minutes of a tranquil Peyton tearing apart every missed throw by Baker Mayfield.
“I just don’t see why you make that throw. Now you’re looking at second and ten, which really forces you into a situation where the defense knows what’s coming. Bad decision-making on first down is why this guy is an absolute scrub, right, E?”
Ahhh…like the rush of a waterfall.
Looking for a power nap? You can listen to a hypnotizing, 15-minute compilation of audibles from Peyton’s playing days, and, for an in-app purchase, you can be woken up just like Eli…with a two-minute warning!
If you still need convincing, check out some early five-star reviews:
“There is nothing more relaxing than football and the subtle Manning southern drawl in my ears. This app has me more rested than a team coming off a bye week.” – Ken T., 45
“Well, looks like they finally found somewhere to use those pauses in the ManningCast when I’m like ‘Did my cable go out? Oh, no. Eli blinked. This is just part of it.’” – Kelly C., 34
“Most people don’t like the sound of their own voice, but I’m getting a lot out of it.” – Peyton M., 45
So, what are you waiting for, call the right play and download "NFL BedZone" today!
AND JUST ANNOUNCED!
The brothers have confirmed they are also developing a motivation app called “You’re Not a Manning and Never Will Be” and a fitness app called “Only Run if the Pocket Collapses.”
*WARNING: Side effects of using NFL BedZone may include sleeplessness due to a deep understanding of the quarterback position with nowhere to put it, moving to Omaha, an ownership stake in Papa John’s, a strong desire to dress like a dad who is always practicing their golf swing, a very slow 40-time, low tolerance for linemen missing their blocking assignments, a crazy number of commercial appearances, and a miraculous ability to beat Tom Brady.